Years ago, when we were little…
Remember, the years of our childhood?…
That huge excitement we felt throughout the last days of school,
the feeling of relief, when we tossed away our school bag,
sensing we will not be seeing it for a veeeeeeery long time?
How the great Summer vacation, seemed… say… great!!!?
The delightful perspectives of childhood on time,
caused those months to seem like eternity,
and although we know a few parents for whom even today,
Summer vacation seems like eternity :-)
from an adult perspective, this time span really flies by.
…and we truly felt free.
We could do “whatever we wanted”,
(which really was, we could, for a while,
not do what we were required to do).
But that – was not freedom at all.
Freedom is not something we get from someone.
In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, Viktor Frankl clarified the term “freedom”.
Frankl was a Jewish Psychiatrist, captured in a concentration camp during the Jewish holocaust.
One day, after much suffering, he realized that even in a concentration camp,
he has Liberty!
Freedom, understood Frankl, differs from liberty.
Freedom is the physical ability to move and act.
Liberty is something we give ourselves from within.
To have freedom, one usually depends on others.
Liberty comes from an internal choice and it can be expressed even in the darkest of places.
On account of this liberty, Frankl quickly became a support for his fellow captives and eventually even for his Nazi prison guards.
We heartily recommend that you read this short book and delve into it.
In the present article we use the common word “freedom”,
out of writing and reading convenience,
but we absolutely refer to the internal liberty, derived from our ability to choose.
People tend to relate to freedom from a dependency paradigm.
“I got time off work/spouse/duty…”
“Oh, I’m dying to go on vacation already…”, etc.
Freedom is something we allow ourselves from within
We accept people for sessions, personal processes, Tantra workshops.
We ask “Allow yourself to be free”,
we coax them into self expression, moving, making sound,
to freely express their emotions, their sexuality.
In most cases we’re faced with a squelched response.
Most of us are tightly bound with social cables.
Cables of education, culture, manners, opinions and more.
Every tiny thing is drastically filtered through the thinking mind.
“That is allowed”, “That is forbidden”, “That’s polite”,
“That is is disgusting”, “What will they think of me”,
“That’s not cultured”, “Mom said I should not”…
Many don’t know and fail to see,
how adherence to social conventions is simply castrating, mutilating.
It makes us miss the joys of life,
feeling guilt, inferiority, lack of self appreciation.
It causes us to remain stuck in place, refrain from advancing,
to make wrong decisions derived from wrong considerations.
Dance as though no one is watching you
Are you familiar with the situation?
Party, pass-time, perhaps a workshop…
A hall full of people dancing.
Some really dance, some move their body in well known patterns.
There’s always that “Champion”, standing outside,
sometimes hands in pockets, sometimes holding onto a drink,
and the look… Oh that look…
It would move from a degrading look, style “Watch those looneys…”
to a yearning look, desiring to be “like him”, “like her”,
them, who truly allow themselves to freely move about, laugh, go wild…
He would find a thousand excuses,
all related with comparing himself with others, with social conventions.
“What would they think of me?”, “I would look silly”,
“I’m too respected to allow”, “It looks cheap”,
“I can’t without three drinks”…
But it does not start neither end with dancing!
Every situation in life is measured upon these values,
be it at home, in social events, in business.
It paralyses, it grounds, it turns off the fire of originality.
Are you willing to go even deeper?
Me? Get out of here. I’m daring, free & liberated…
How deep is the phenomenon.
How thick is the mask we all wear.
As you may know, every once in a while,
we hold daring workshops for advanced couples.
We work directly on various issues related with sexuality.
Our sexuality simply reveals it all.
It touches the deepest layers of our being, as it is so basic.
We often run into people wearing a facade of “free & liberated”.
It comes down for a test when we have a group activity.
Then one (man or woman) gets into the circle center to receive touch.
We ask, then inform “X has no boundaries. All is permitted”
(within our workshop boundaries of course).
You will be surprised to know -
Here are those who expressed this and that on themselves,
they come to the moment of truth, where all is allowed,
an do NOTHING!!!
So what can one do?
Practice the genuine liberty, which comes from within, more and more!
It should blend in several planes of awareness and consciousness.
First – the understanding:
The very basic understanding is, that total freedom will not bring about anarchy.
Many express that fear, but the opposite is true.
It is more when a man’s freedom is limited by conventions which are not his,
that he develops some hidden rebellion.
It is then, when one takes action in the direction of anarchy and less in the direction of true nature.
Beyond that, it is important to understand legitimacy of freedom,
the necessity in true freedom to be, to express, to be who I really am.
It is crucial to understand that not everything society thinks is true.
Mostly, the opposite is true!
Whole societies were wrong, went astray!
Nearly the entire world was certain that Earth is flat, that it is the center of this Universe.
Whole nations were certain they should rule the world,
that destruction and elimination of other nations is a must.
Bind that with daring.
Dare to inspect and break boundaries. Step out of our comfort zone.
Inspect our emotions once we dared, once we did:
How much closer are we to our own internal truth?
Initially it is difficult, even confusing,
but this is simply a creation of new, positive patterns and habits.
This creation is not always effortless or easy.
Freedom is the basis!
For Tantra, freedom is the basic and most valuable legacy.
One of the central books of Tantra deals with the MahaNirvana,
obtaining the ultimate freedom, the total Nirvana.
We already described in previous articles(*), what acts,
which in our eyes would seem extreme and crazy,
were taken by the ancient Tantrika to rebel social consensus,
to obtain a total inner freedom to be who they really are.
[* The articles we refer to here, will shortly be published
in our blog]
We know a charming personal coach, Joe Rubino.
It all starts and ends, says Rubino, with self esteem.
Self esteem is certainly of the most basic human needs
in order to live a happy and joyous life,
to reinvent oneself each time anew.
How can one build high self esteem?
For us, the way to it is first of all, practicing freedom.
Freedom from social and emotional dependence,
from what others “think of me” or “evaluate me”.
This inner freedom is the very basis for building wonderful relationships,
since we do not emotionally depend on those with whom we live.
We may then support, contain, accept other opinions.
We are not afraid to change,
for if we choose to change,
it will only be based on our freedom and personal choice.
Freedom enables us to live a life of braveness and fearlessness.
It enables the permission we give ourselves to advance, to develop,
to choose a unique and different direction,
in contrast with what others may think;
Parents, Teachers, Friends, Media…
…and follow that path only because our heart tells us,
that this is the right way to go.
So allow yourselves to dance as tough nobody is watching you,
and if you wish to practically practice breaking boundaries,
you already know who to turn to… ;-)